Submission

If it's one thing I've learnt in an unpleasant 5 minutes car-ride with a specific someone, it's to lay down my dreams, hopes, passion, and grudges in submission to do what's ought to be done.

I'm not liking you very much. I don't get your jokes and you have the power to crush what I love.

But because you're not my favourite person, I learn to submit to you.

Was my work all in vain?

1 Thessalonians 3:5 - For this reason, when I could bear it no longer, I sent to learn about your faith, for fear that somehow the tempter had tempted you and our labor would be in vain.

i feel at a loss. i spent so much training, time, effort, tears, prayers into this. there were even conflicts. all these were suppose to assist in building our family up.

when paul left the thessalonians church, he left them in a totally unprepared situation. the thessalonians were new believers, yet they continued to grow in faith. they even became an example to the christians in greece (1 thessalonians 1:7)

when i left, i did not leave the family unprepared. i spent months preparing and training and praying. indeed it was not in the best situation, but i saw potential there for growth in numbers. there were so many opportunities. now it's all gone.

my work was all in vain.

about 5 years ago, this exact same thing happened. there was a leader, she left and then our family broke apart and we went our seperate ways.

about 2 years ago, i had this strong determination to gather the passionate and willing, and to rebuild what we had dismissed. there were hard times. but we managed to pull through and stick together for 2 years.

until i left.

then our family broke apart again and we went our seperate ways.

'history repeats itself'. why is this happening? there were explanations, but all i could hear was opportunities being dismissed and forgotten.

could you see their potential like i could?

here's a tip, before you leave, make sure all your debts are paid, and that all your responsibilities are passed down to another potential and passionate.

i have now 3 months, to try and recover back what was yet again dismissed. may the Lord be my guide.

(photo extracted from http://www.flickr.com/photos/82893918@N00/310808981)

Back to basics

sometimes we get so busy with trying to be holy in front of others that we forget what was suppose to be the main focus. sometimes we focus on getting into ministries, giving tithe and offerings, training of leadership. these are all natural when it comes to christianity, these are the 'add-ons' that we should have.

but ultimately, everything centres on this:

John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

Hebrews 10:26 - Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received a full knowledge of the truth, there is no other sacrifice that will cover these sins.

christianity isn't about being holy. it's about believing, accepting, and following Jesus Christ's way.

being holy, it's an add-on to christianity. =)

Graduated Demons

So IN HELL Academy 3 Demons just Graduated and before sending them to the world the Devil would like to know their plans

Devil:
So Demon (1) what have you got planed to destroy the relationship between God and Humans.

Demon(1):
I'm going to tell them that there is no such thing as a God and that when you die you just fade out of the world

Devil:
*nods his head* I see, I see ( not so good, everybody knows there is a God)

Devil:
How about you Demon(2) what are your plans?

Demon(2):
I'm going to tell the humans that if you worship the devil they can have anything they desire form being famous to being a billionare

Devil:
*nods his head* I see I see (still not good enough the humans know God will bless them even more if they follow Jesus)

Devil:
so Demon(3) how about you ? ( hoping for a good plan)

Demon(3):
I'm going to tell the Humans there is a God and there exist a place called Heaven and Hell. But i'm also going to tell them they have NO RUSH IN ACCEPTING JESUS IN THEIR LIFE, THEY CAN TAKE ALL THE TIME THEY NEED. DOING ALL THE THINGS THEY WANT TO DO, NO RUSH AT ALL

Devil:
*smiles* That is a Wonderful plan ! Now this is a true graduate!!

Message:
Quite True also, the devil is smart and he knows our weakness, sometimes we say " one day i'm going to do that" well honestly that "one day" ,may never come right? :P

Highlight:
Procrastinating is the Problem

(entire post extracted from http://ronaldfooronald.tumblr.com/)

[sorry ronald, for stealing this. =)]

Tired

(photo by http://nickersandinkblog.blogspot.com)

everyone's been tired before. be it physically tired, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. being tired is seen as normal and everyone goes through it in life.

however, as christians we should not be spiritually tired. why? because when we receive Christ into our lives, we are given a new spirit, thus it is said that we are spiritually born again. this new spirit given to us by God is meant to last for eternity, even while we are in heaven. in heaven, we are given new bodies, but not spirits. and this spirit, because it given by God specially for us, should not grow weary and tired.

Jesus, He was never tired spiritually. sure He got tired physically (John 4:6 “Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.”). but Jesus was not spiritually tired.

Jesus always retreated to pray in isolated areas, away from society, away from the things of the world. He always retreated to pray before He got spiritually tired. because well, God was His source of strength.

Mark 1:35 “And early in the morning, while it was still dark, He arose and went out and departed to a lonely place, and was praying there.”

Mark 6:46 “And after bidding them farewell, he departed to the mountain to pray.”

Luke 6:12 “And it was at this time that He went off to the mountain to pray, and He spent the whole night in prayer to God.”

Luke 5:16 “But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.”

indeed, christians get tired easily, because we try so hard to please God and the devil tries to prevent us from doing that.

but

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

retreat and pray to God, before you get tired.

<3>

Life. Unpredictability. Uncertainty.

the news of tragedy regarding steffi's family came so shockingly sudden. wow. i can't imagine how much pain this is causing her right now. =( wish i was back in kk right now so i can hug her and share the sorrow with her without the distance. but..i'm in perth . =( gonna try give her a call tomorrow...funeral's tomorrow. =(

odd, after i received this news, i was reminded once again of how fragile and unpredictable life is. the people you love around you, they might be gone the next moment and you'll never see them again. the ones you had a fight with yesterday, they might vanish from the face of the earth tomorrow. the future is so uncertain, so unseen.

as christians, we always say 'i'll preach tomorrow. i'll love tomorrow. i'll.......' but what if there is no tomorrow for one of your loved ones who is an unbeliever?

i got freaked out when God reminded me of how i may not have alot of time left to preach to the ppl i love around me. life is so uncertain, God can decide to take someone i love away from me. and that person would be gone as an unbeliever.

knowing if i had missed the opportunity to share God's love and be used as a vessel to save, would crush my heart. knowing that just because i was afraid of rejection, afraid of sharing, and hence someone is left to burn in everlasting fire would cause........unexplainable horiffic guilt to overwhelm.

Luke 9:61-62 = Another said "Yes Lord, I will follow you, but first, let me say goodbye to my family." But Jesus told him. "Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God."

'..anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back...'

don't tell God you want to serve Him (put your hand into the plow), but say you want to serve Him later (look back). serve Him now. start preaching now. start loving now. time is limited.

<3

Orientation

it saddens me when i go to passion booth during orientation and see so little volunteers. moreover, the volunteers are there to talk among themselves, not to reap the harvest.

don't get me wrong, i'm not judging. i'm not pointing fingers.

but i just don't see why.

can't we all put aside our fear, our timid-ness? can't we put aside jokes for a while, can't we chat later at night (where events are organized for us to chat!!)? can't we work for God for a bit even while we are tired? can't we layout our schedule and make time, 4 hours a day is all it takes.

if a lil courage, a lil tiredness, a lil sacrifice can save someone, why not? why not? cz Jesus had to DIE to save us. and all He is asking from us now is to have courage, all He is asking us to do is to walk up to ppl and tell them about passion.

it is real. people do go to hell. and everytime one person goes pass me without a passion brochure, i feel horrible. cz God is depending on us to reap the harvest. but we are not doing it.

we always pray and fast for revival. but we never asked God how God wants to use us for our nation to be save. we always depend on God, rely on God, which is good. but just praying isn't gonna do anything. God wants us to take some action as well.

don't tell me you're afraid you'll get rejected by the people walking pass. they won't kill you, but if you don't go up to them and tell them about passion, they might end up in hell.



show me how to love like You have love me. break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for your Kingdom's cause (Hosanna, Hillsongs)

my greatest honor would always be to serve my Lord and King (God of my Forever, City Harvest Church)

come on people. we are alive for a reason, and that is for God.

<3

Investing without slipping.

you know, when we are being surrounded by godly people, we tend to be more 'godly'. when we're surrounded with positive people, we tend to be more positive. it's the whole influence thing. whoever you spend more time with, you'll be like them more.

however we are called to 'invest' in people, and obviously invest in those who are more to the negative side than the positive side.

how then do we invest in others without ourselves falling astray, without giving into the ways of the world, when we are suppose to invest in those astrayed, following the ways of the world-people?

how do we stay strong and stand our ground and continue pleasing God when others are doing all kinds of undesirable things before God?

how do you influence them without getting yourself influenced and shaken by the easy-way-out, ways of the world?

how do you be the stronger character?

i've often viewed investing into people as being in a spiritual war zone. it's dangerous, we are fighting against the unseen. but God is on our side.

In You we trust.

One more for Jesus

for easter celebration/ easter carnival, i was thinking of inviting my friend. but i was kinda skeptical about it cz he's a guy and i would have to jaga him throughout the whole celebration and also during carnival, and people might think that we are more than just friends, when in actual fact he is already attached.

so, i was thinking and praying about this for a really long time, then the night before easter celebration, i msged him, asking him to come. at midnight, he replied me saying he'll come, and maybe bring a few friends along.

fwahhh gembira...

so the next morning, he and 2 others came to easter celebration. before they came, one of the usher asked me and my friend if we could give up our seat for others (cz there wasn't enough place for visitors to seat), but i told him i had 3 visitors coming and i already book places for them to seat. so when they came, another usher asked me if i could move to seat at the back and let the visitors seat at my place. but before he got a chance to ask me, the previous usher informed him that i had vistiors. wah, so relieved i didn't need to ask my visitors to move seats. if not, paiseh............

then during altar call, i had a tugging thought in my mind to ask the 3 visitors if they wanted to go up front to be prayed for. but i scared paiseh, so i kept praying and praying. and no matter how much i prayed during altar call, i kept feeling that need to ask them. so i asked them if they wanted to go up front. at first, all of them said no, then my friend kept saying something like , shy shy, something like that. so i told him i'll go up front with him la, then he went up front to be prayed for. i felt so glad. when one comes home, heaven rejoices. =)

after he was prayed for, he asked me (him me yan pin)

there's a camp is there? when is it?
today.. bus leaves at 3pm.
but it's 12.45pm now..
you wanna come? wanna come?
no time to pack lo.
there's still time. you can go home now and pack and come back by 3 for the bus.
it takes at least half an hour to get to my house. i live very far from here.
or else, you can sign up for camp now, then at night, i'll arrange someone to bring you home to pack and bring you back to camp?
O.o

so he went to camp. and from what he told me, he really enjoyed it. now he's asking his parents if he can join cell group every friday night. praise God man, really praise God.

and to think i almost didn't invite him to easter celebration.

bottom line:

if God asks you to do something, just do it, no mater how paiseh or how stupid. one more for Jesus!

I love you

it's easy to say those words 'i love you' to someone. we say it all the time. we say it everyday. to our family members, to our friends, to our bf/gf. but when something goes wrong and conflicts occur, we don't say 'i love you' anymore. we say 'i hate you'.

1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8 = Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

note that everytime we say 'i love you' to someone, we're saying all of it in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. we are promising the other person that we'll be patient, that we'll be kind etc.

so don't go round saying to everyone 'i love you' without meaning what 1 Corinthians 13 said.

and don't let this post hinder any of you from saying 'i love you' to people, however, mean what you say when you say 'i love you'. and when conflicts occur, don't 'forget' about your 'i love you's.

=) come, let us strive to love our neighbours.

Wilson's farewell

you had to leave so suddenly. =( sorry couldn't send you of at airport. it was just too early in the morning. go airport at 4am whattt....

(farewell dinner)



(sabo wilson at beveridge guys house)



(wilson : ''ei, seriously, i wanna vomit already" *make puke sounds*)



bye wilson. =( see you if i see you. fb ya! >.< take care friend..

For the acceptance of Him

i know my spm results are really very disappointing. and i expected alot more than what i got. and i know that everyone else around me expected alot more from me. and i know that i have disappointed practically everyone,

but i realised that i shouldn't be doing things for the acceptance of myself or the people around me, but for the acceptance of God.

while i was preparing for spm, i told God, 'i wanna do this for You'. i wanted to do my best in this final exam, to give every strength i've got to just be able to say those words 'i did this for You God', to make God proud of me.

and i did give my best. i put every ounce of strength and of faith into studying and praying. and i really believed i would get those grades that forecast showed (5As).

but when the result came, i was ashamed. that i was a christian, little Christ, but i was not setting an example in my grades. i was ashamed that spiritually i'm well but educationally i'm not. i felt guilty before God, for getting horrible grades when He has created me to be excellent in everything that i do, that i may please Him.

but after devotion, i realised that in the beginning i wasn't seeking to please myself or the people around me with my grades, i was seeking to please God. so i shouldn't be feeling downcast or ashamed with my grades, because all that matters is whether God is pleased with me or not (and He is. =D )

when you do the things you do, don't seek for the acceptance of men. because that will only pull you down and make you weary and bring you away from God. but if you seek for the acceptance of God, that will be all that matters. (Chambers, March 17)

and i tell you guys, when you get the feeling that God is happy with all your efforts, you won't care about what others think of your work. because all that matters would be what God thinks. and pleasing God is enough the motivation to do greater things for Him.



it is 2.30am and i need to wake up at 3.30am later!! O.o *tidur* good thing no class tomorrow. haha....

This is what i call an awesome dance.

It sucks

it sucks. when you feel as though your dad don't really care about you. when your dad isn't a christian. when you feel horrible during worship because your dad might not end up in heaven. when you keep getting the conciousness to stay in touch with your dad because he might not have anyone else to minister to him about God. but when you try to stay in touch with your dad, he blows it and implys that he malas keep in touch with you.

it sucks to come from a divorced family.

but i realised, this isn't about me. this is about God.

it must suck for God. that He created every living thing uniquely wonderful. He designed nature to be breath-takingly marvelously beautiful. He rules over all the mountains, the seas, the planets, the universe. He sent His only Beloved Son to bear our guilt, but man don't even acknowledge Him. instead, man curse God.

so how am i suppose to bring my dad to Christ? =( when my dad don't even seem like he care to keep in touch with me.

Emo thoughts

that does it. i do not want to know about anyone else's spm result except for hannah's. my instincts were right. my results are really very bad. =( don't ask me what my results are. i won't tell you anyway. *enters into emo zone*

i'm also wondering what would happen to eklektos. is eklektos ready yet for another time of transistion? what would be the outcome?

why does it has to be now? i feel powerless, stuck in aussie here unable to do anything, to help anything. =( gonna miss you, CL..

never expected any of these to happen. i guess it's all up to God's timing and planning. *sigh*

Leaving

Announcement:

I am leaving to perth tomorrow to study.

I probably won't be online for a while due to the internet connection not being set yet at the place where i'll be staying.. just so you guys know. =)

Love yourself

i know this is a bit harsh, but it must be said.

if you really loved yourself you wouldn't love the pleasures of present time, instead you would love discipline, hardwork, drudgery and so on.

take junk food for example. junk food is one of the pleasures of present time, period. however, if you loved yourself, you would watch your eating before you die from too much junk food. because junk food kills.

same goes to your spiritual life. sining is also one pleasure of the present time. everyone love giving in to temptation and everyone love to sin, because it makes us feel good. however, if you loved yourself, you would force yourself to be in discipline to not give in to temptations, you would run from sin. if you loved yourself, you would know that sin kills.

what will it take for the people to understand?

loving yourself means taking care of yourself, not giving yourself the short pleasures in life so you're temporarily happy.

loving yourself means not seeking what life has to offer but instead seeking what God's plan is for your life. because if you seek life you will be discouraged and be in despair. God's plan is always greater.

Romans 2:7-8 - To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.

it is really up to you if you want to love yourself or if you want to love the pleasures of life. but know what awaits you later. don't cry when it's too late.

Jeremiah 29:13 - You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

sorry if this post is offensive to anyone..

Youtube random-ness

someone challenged this guy to "write/record a song using only voice and everyday household items as instruments. not real ones".

i think he did an awesome job. with the lyrics as well. haha

paper animation. made of only cardboard, paper, pencil, glue and tape. o.o

Cz you're hot then you're cold.....

you guys know how it feels like when you just went to some youth camp and get all fired up for God there, but then like 1 month later the passion disappears?

and how some people blame it on God, oh God didn't make enough miracles for the fire to continue burning.

or how some people blame it on their life. when my life is great and all is going well, i praise God. when my life is down to the pits and nothing is going my way, i don't acknowlegde my 'relationship' with God. my 'relationship' with God floats along with my life.

or how some people blame it on the church. oh worship team isn't doing a good enough job, therefore cannot worship with whole heart, therefore fire die lo..

or how some people blame it on other people, other people not being so excited for God, meh i also same lo..

if christians use those excuse for our fire to die down, then are we really worshippers of Christ? or are we only worshippers every few times per year when got planetshakers conference or only when got youth camp?

i'm not saying it's wrong that we get all excited for God during big youth events. i'm saying that after all those events, it is up to us to fan the flame. God is always speaking to us, but how come only during big youth events can we hear Him?

God is not to be blamed, nor the church, nor other people. if we are really christians, then it would be a relationship with Christ only, that doesn't include how awesome the worship team is, how awesome the speaker is, how fired up or friends are. if we are really christians, we would stand for Christ, passion burning for Him, throughout our lives. not during big youth events.

come brothers and sisters. i don't think God deserve to be mistreated this way. be real in your relationship with God.

quote rachel soh : 'was what you said on the altar real? or was it just an outburst of emotions?'

2010

2009. what about 2009? i don't know.. if i had a choice of editing my year, i probably won't edit alot. i thought that this year was pretty cool. ups and downs were there, but there is a lesson behind everything practically everytime.

like dropping class to a class of 'pilaks'. some may not agree with me but i actually love my class. being surrounded by 'low-class' malay-oriented people, i learnt their values and their ways. saw the difference between the chinese and the malays, why they contradict each other so much.

i love my class. they're not so lovable sometimes but they're family, we're family. one thing i love so much about them is the spirit of friendship. when one is in need, practically everyone lends a helping hand. when one is betrayed, the whole group of friends feels betrayed. when one cries, all cries. when one laughs, all laughs. when one fight, all fight. (okay maybe this isn't so nice, but still. they're willing to sacrifice getting suspended to protect their friends?)

you will never see such friendship in a s1-chinese infested class.

another would be jons being president and me being vice for seekers. although everyone have seen the way jons behaved all through the year and how he threw his responsibilities away and backslid alot, i'm thankful that he was president instead of me. at one point, i admit i really wanted to be 'president' (because of the kokum marks factor..) and i knew i deserved it, but calvin's words kept echoing in my brain. (freaky..) 'he is still your leader, don't let others belittle him. God choosed him.'

i guess that contributed to me defending jons alot when others mocked him.. =( anyway, i'm thankful he's president. because. if i was made president and him as my vice (there were only 2 candidates) he probably would have still backslided. and i probably wouldn't care so much. but because he is my leader, thats why i cared. =)

i still have alot to say but i'll confuse and bore all my readers to sleep. so i won't do that. XD

there are issues whereby i wished i could changed it but i won't let it out here. all also issue sensitive. later people come up to me and punch me in the face or something. XD -.-

okay.. 2009 resolutions!
[/ judging by my forecast. XD] 4As in SPM, no D
[/] sleep earlier
[] learn cooking?
[/] friendlier to newbies in eklektos
[/ right up till like the last few months of 2009. =(] be more optimistic

oppsies i failed to fulfill my third resolution. =(

2010 resolutions!! [haven't really thought about it.. ]
[] learn cooking?
[] somebody teach me guitar!! please!!
[] learn howda make my fingers 'flow' on the piano.
[] sleep early wake up early.
[] don't let people get to me so easily.
[] be more optimistic.
[] never get my priorities wrong. God first, mom second.
[] find out my identity. find out who i am and what i believe in.
[] leave my past behind.
[] not to be influenced by society that simply.
[] devotion. twice, every single day.
[] not to rush through my devotion.
[] find that inner peace and joy from God.
[] never let that inner peace and joy from God to go away.
[] stop living for myself, instead live everyday for God.
[] stop uplifting self.
[] jangan terburu-buru when making a decision. refer to God.
[] being more sensitive to God.
[] being even more compassionate and forgiving but not naive (if that's possible..)

wow looks like a really long list. >.< it's not gonna be easy keeping this..

but with God i can. =D

philippians 3:13-14 = 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not acheived it, but I focus on this one thing. Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

The failed stalk...

jeson me alex janzen

*enters into restaurant with alex and janzen*
hey isn't that apple's brother? jeson ah?
O.o
O.o
*sits in a corner jeson can't see us*
[msging]
hello ex! family gathering?
no, eating with aunt and cousin and grandma and sis and bro. big sis, mom and daddy not here.. and how you know?
why isn't apple in the family gathering.. =(
not really family gathering. mummy and daddy not here. and how you know?
careful not to let your food get on your light blue shirt..
how the.. where are you?! lols!
can you teleport your float to my place? (he was drinking float..)
sure if i know where you are
*sees 2 kids from jeson's table go toilet*
why did you allow those 2 little kids to go toilet by themselves unattended?!
that's my bro and cousin. lols. i didn't even know they went. you can help me watch over ma.. seriously.. where are you?!
as a responsible older brother, you should take care of your younger siblings and not leave them unattended. my spirit is with you, ex. =)
yeah right.. i see you! haha! what did that avatar said? something like i see you right? haha..
*moments later*
*appears at the window next to jeson*