immunity..

*types with 8 fingers* my 2 fingers are numb.. from blanko-ing vertically set up sugar paper.. it's been numb for 7 hours now.. O.o i wonder if apple has numb fingers too..



i think..for all the hurts, i think God is trying to make me get immune to them. yes i'm weird. just got me thinking ya know.. why does God allow me to get hurt so often? instead of getting immune to the hurts i got immune to the people that hurt me and i now don't take them seriously for whatever they say.. bad huh.. i'm suppose to be immune to the hurt and still love the people, not get immune to the people and not love them enough..

don't matter if you don't understand..

teacher kenneth told me once about pottering.. potters keep in view (kiv) their clays and place them on a shelf to be left alone when their clays don't wanna be shaped properly. that's what GOD does. when people still don't listen/accept Him, kiv..

i'm gonna kiv. and expect for the worst but accept anything (gua) cz clearly not kiv-ing gives me more hurt and hoping for anything but the worst wounds me. i don't wanna be hurt again..

oh who am i kidding.. i always expect for the worst and then even worse unimaginable issues come up. and then i tell myself that i shouldn't care and that nothing will make me cry.. but in the end i still cry..

i'm sucha cry baby. big girls don't cry? then i must be a little girl then..

i shouldn't be feeling this way. but i can't help it. quote hannah : there's history.

God make me immune.. >.<